August 22, 2006 was my last journal update on here... I feel like I am a world away from where I was then.


August 22, 2007 was the worst day of my life to date at that point in time. My best friend, and the person I love the most in this world, was diagnosed with lung cancer. The year following was devistating, knowing less then 10% of people with the type of lung cancer he had made it past the first year. Glory be to God, he is still with us today, and I cherish every moment I have with him -- though it's not in any way easy knowing his condition.

I have always been a medical disaster, but in the fall of 2007 I out-did myself. I had a couple week vacation from school in the hospital, while also trying out a new medication for a new disease I was diagnosed with... which I just happened to be allergic to and which gave me horrific, as well as insanely painful side effects. Because of all of this I missed the majority of my classes that semester and almost had to drop out [glory be to God that i was able to pass my classes].

November 20, 2007 and June 10, 2008 are two dates that will ever be imprinted in my memory, as two people who were very dear to me passed away on those days... both of which were amazing mentors as well as friends.

On February 7, 2009 my friend committed suicide. I have never asked the question "why" and longed to know the answer as bad as I have this past month. I look at life completely differently now. I have dealt with the bitterness of death, but suicide is a whole different ball game. Safe to say this has been one of the hardest months of my life.


My life isn't all bad... just when I think about my life since Aug. 22, 2006, thats what comes to mind. Many good things have happened, too.

On Aug. 4, 2007 my brother married the love of his life, and I was able to be apart of the happiest day of his life... I truly have never seen him more happy then I saw him on that day.

July 20th, 2008 I met one of the most amazing people I ever have met... and I can say with a genuine smile that she has become one of my closest and dearest friends. I've never met anyone like her, and I love her with everything I have.

September 6th, 2008 the results from the biopsy came back and we found out that my best friend no longer has lung cancer [a complete miracle]. [although it's likely and no doubt will come back, right now, he's cancer free and that in and of itself is a miracle, so why worry about what may come]


I can't think of any more dates, so I guess that's all the main events in the past 2.5 years of my life.

I usually don't sleep at night because I'm in too much physical pain or because I can't stop thinking.
I still have haunting thoughts of Eric and all the abuse he put me through for so many years.
I take my friends' burdens as my own.
I am too busy to have any sort of a social life.
I still can't breathe well on a regular basis.

BUT

I absolutely love school regardless of the fact that it entirely consumes my life.
I have never been to a church that I love more then the one I currently attend.
I am a leader in my cousins youth group and have the most amazing group of girls.
I have the two best friends that anyone could ever ask for... and for the first time in my life I am able to truly believe them when they tell me that they love me.


And above all, God is good. Enough said.